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John and Ruby

Ruby was born prematurely and her lungs didn’t fully develop. After being sick for months in the hospital, her parents decided that a home ventilator was not right for Ruby and would not work for their family. She was removed from the hospital ventilator and she died in her father’s arms.

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John: Hi, my name is John. My daughter Ruby was born premature, and her lungs didn’t fully develop, at least that’s how her doctors explained it. Ruby was pretty much on the ventilator her entire 7 months in the neonatal ICU. Eventually, we reached a point where I had to make a decision about whether or not I would take Ruby home with a ventilator. Of course I wanted Ruby to come home, we’d waited so long for that! But there were so many challenges. Ruby was really struggling. We did try to get her stable on CPAP... tried anything to avoid a trach, but it wasn’t enough... Ruby couldn’t breathe without the tube. Also, Ruby’s mom and I weren’t together anymore, and she’s sick with Lupus, in and out of the hospital all the time herself. So, in the end, we discussed what we had to do, and we both agreed, that we should let Ruby die naturally, without all the machines. It was the hardest decision of my life, but I know in my heart it was the right thing to do.